Notes for The Book

 If I were writing a book about Mom's situation it would include the context of her life at the time. There would be an explanation of what it was like to be born during WWII without her father around for the first few years. 

One thing I read said women were sexually active or had pre-marital sex or had babies because of their relationship with their mother. What was going on with Bebe? My assumption is that she believed she was royalty and should be treated as such. She wanted to play golf, and do all of the things of her station in life. 

Bebe back ground-Father vice president of Cadillac Motor Co her father worked his way up to VP. He played a role in setting up garages to do oil changes and other mechanical work as part of the sales

Bare-he was the star football player, went to play football at the University of Michigan but the war put an end to that dream. He returned to school? What did he do when he came home from the war? 

What I know-

Mom was born while Grandpa was away-maybe training, maybe in Europe. At some point in the 1950's, the Amos family moved to Florida. Mom was in middle school. They, Bare and Grandpa Amos, were going to start a concentrated OJ venture but the frost hit ending that speculation opportunity. Bare worked at a school there but...Not sure what happened. Eventually they made their way back to MI. Year? Why leave all the family in Florida? Typically for work. What about Bare's family? It sounds like they were closer to the Amos'. 

I am not sure about that. When is the first time Bare saw mom? When was Mickey born? When did Bare come home and what did he do when he returned? Where did Bebe live during the war? I recall she was with her sister or mother? Where did they live?

 

Do I start out with leaving or lying? the lies always tell. it is only a matter of time before all the lies are exposed. my story is a nightmare in many regards, it is a sad story with many villians. 

I hated being from a divorced family. In the 70s it was an uncommon situation. I told Cannon I did not want them dating girls from divorced families and he said, look at you mom? you're strong and independent? No, I'm an asshole.

I think that Mom has more secrets and lies hidden from us. I don't need to know everything in her life but I do need to know basic facts. For instance, is Larry Cook the father of Andrew Cook? It doesn't look like it. Where did he come from? There is one constant: mom had all of us. When you are the mother you can't hide that fact. 

I know the word hate is strong and so is whore but they seem to be the only words I can find to describe the situation. I wonder how many lies Mom has told throughout our childhood. I understand now that she could not be a moral role model because she knew that she had a past. 

I feel like my whole "family" is a web of lies. What lies are still being held up...what about Bebe and her tales? It used to be endearing and now it is icky. The lies. 

Mom put us at risk by hiring babysitters she did not know. I used to have fond memories of my childhood but now it is all scrambled and ugly.