After thoughts

 No, there won't be a sister or brother showing up at our door. Grandma Cherrie was able to reunite with her baby because she had the baby and gave it up to a family that could take care of her. 

There 

Psalm 32:5 

I confessed and you forgave. 

Romans 8:1 There is no condemnation for those who trust in the Lord. 

Those who live according to the spirit set their minds on things of the spirit. Romans 8:28 We are adopted by the father, crying "Abba, Father!" If we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. 

I have wondered, years ago and since finding out about Nancy, how Mom could be so positive and hopeful. How could she find strength in a God who had forsaken her? Knowing that she was raped makes this even more difficult to understand. Where was God? But the flesh is sinful. That does not mean it was her fault. It means being raped is a consequence of a fallen world and sin that surrounds us. God takes our sin and uses it for good. He does not say, "It is good..." as he looks out at the wreckage of our lives. He says, "I will use this for good..." as he fixes the broken parts and makes us whole. He is the potter. Use this pain to serve in his name. How can I turn my pain into service to him? 

Pastor Greg Locke said those with a testimony about being saved are interesting, but we should not forget those who were saved before they even went down that road. God saved them before they wrecked their life. 

Psalm 139 God knows us intimately. He is there in the morning when we rise and lingers throughout the day. He is our constant companion.

My mind says that I am lost, or perhaps I am a lost cause. It is for Cannon, Tucker, and Campbell that I fight. That is not what God says. It is a difficult lesson to learn. It is hard to accept that God truly forgives me. Do I forgive myself? Look at that girl? Did she know what to do? Had she any idea of what she was doing? 

Mom has set a beautiful example of living in the finished work of the cross rather than her past. What shall define me: my past or my future?  

After that visit there is really no opportunity for a relationship. Mom told me that she has been invtied to the Bahamas with Kacey. it was supposed to be all of us but that was set up when we all got along. It is now just Kacey and Mom. I don't know exactly how I feel. I feel left out but that is only because it is mom and kacey my feelings about Nancy have not changed. It is something that I do not want to deal with. I do not trust her and hate her pushing into our lives. But if Mom wants to do this, she is welcome although I don't think it is safe for her.