10 hours sleep

 I have to write up how I got 10 hours of sleep. 

Wednesday-Tucker was home with me while Tucker took Campbell to a night race at Gunstock. I kept myself busy all day learning about AP HUGE. At 3pm Tucker went to play basketball and I had lunch/dinner. I had 7 ounces of gin with lime-it was a G&T Gimlet mix. I drank all 4 then put the alcohol away. I am moderating down from drinking at lunch and dinner to once a day and 4 or less drinks. I need to use more mixer or add water because I think the issue is that I am thirsty and suck the drinks down. So my last drink was about 4pm. I dragged around that night waiting to pick Tucker up at 8:30 then home and to bed. I had a horrible restless sleep with stomachache and diarrhea. Up at 6, struggling with dry heaves, pack the car, wake Tucker and out we go. 

7am coffee and egg/cheese croissant D&D. I did not poop all day. That is better than the alternative. Got to the race and hit the hill at 9am. On the hill until noon then lunch-a sandwich and kombucha-then back to the hill until 3:15. Home, water, drive to get Campbell from Tucker. Finally home for dinner at 5. I went 24 hours without a drink. Good for me. I was busy. During the day I was trying to think what I wanted to drink but nothing sounded good. Sometimes I will think oh a margarita sounds good or this or that. Nothing sounded good. What sounded good was the mental part. Being done with day, relaxing. I ended up getting vodka martinis. I measured out the vodka (I usually just pour with my heart). 8 ounces and I threw some out. 4 drinks. When I finished I was numbing out,scrolling on my computer. I decided to get up and walk the dogs. I took Shadow for 3 and Ripper for 1. When I got home, I got Campbell ready for bed, took 1 magnesium pill, sleepy time tea, and 1/2 unisom. It was a good night. 

Things I did yesterday. 

I brushed with Dentalcidin to break up biofilm from bacteria

Mastic gum between meals to heal gut

Brush with Dentalcidin to help kill bacteria

Immune support

I began listening to Allen Carr's easy way. There are 2 rules so far: follow all instructions and keep an open mind. When he said there are no benefits to alcohol, I agreed. I think alcohol helps me relax but it really just creates problems in my life. Why do I want to keep something toxic in my life? It is stupid. Last night drinking that martini, I just thought why am I doing this? The root issue is that I am bored, lonely, and don't love my life right now. I am trying to fill the void with education, cleaning, working out. I want to create a life that will make me happy. Right now I am sitting here feeling so much better just from a good night of sleep and fewer drinks yesterday. 

Carr calls it emotional drinking. Brooke calls it habitual drinking. Reframe calls it mindless drinking. It is all the same thing. A bad habit or addiction that just takes over without thought.