Today is November 2. Day 2 of the month that continues the journey. My drinking had gotten out of control, out of my control. Drinking made me angry or brought out my anger. It was bad. After I yelled at the school kids about wearing their mask, I had the additional emotion of shame and guilt. I just think about a year ago and all the pain, stress, and
Yes, I am the one who will jump up and start dancing when I hear "THAT" song. I also things without thinking that is made 10x worse when I am drinking. Do not tell me a secret because when I drink, I will probably unintentionally mention it. Perhaps this is because I hate secrets. I've been told that I a free spirit. Is that an official diagnosis? Is it the same as ADHD? Not sure. Anyway...
Day 3 and I am finally feeling that exuberance return. Since I had already taken a drink break, I thought that I would jump right back into feeling good but yesterday I was tired. Last night I slept 8 hours and could have kept going for a few more hours. Tonight, might have to be a 10-hour night.
Food today-not great
Supplements-L-Glutamine, isotonix vitamin -before food
Breakfast-keto pancake with blueberries, 2 eggs, piece of bagel, piece of chocolate (500)
Walk 2 miles with the dogs then 4 miles of speed work-total 6 miles with L-Glutamine afterwards. very tired after I took a shower and ate.
Lunch-Bacon (400 cal) peanut butter (100) mayo (100) bread (200) =800 calories
Snack and dinner-1 biscotti (120) 2 chocolate chip cookies (150) steak, cheese, wrap and enchilada sauce=600 calories
Total calories =about 2000 and with my run and lifting I made out ok.
Today, I had a few euphoric moments that were a surprise. Although I would have loved to sleep a few more hours, I was up and ready to go. The dogs escaped and ran around the neighborhood for a little while before we caught them and brought them home. Then 2 miles walk. The weather was perfect for a run and my legs were snappy. I took off jogging for .5 then rotated about .1 hard and .2 recovery. It is a 4 mile loop from the house to Pollard, over to Church to Main then loop down to the bridge, up to South Peak then down to the road along the river, at the gate turn onto the trail that goes from old hole back to the bridge and home. I shortened the way back because I thought I had done 8! duh. Oh well if I had gone to Pollard it would have been closer to 4.5 It is a nice run. Then after talking on the phone and resting, I went to work on the front porch. That must count for a few calories.
Not drinking today was ok. I like day 3 at least today. My supplements seem to be helping. I got in my vit D, C, Fish oil and just took CBD after dinner.
My hot metabolism really hits the spot with BLT, steak, seafood etc. I did notice when I was finishing my run I was thinking about a cold glass of white wine the way I used to think about ice cold coke. It must be that my blood sugar is dropping and I just need something.
Before I realized that I needed to stop drinking so much, I would google is it bad to drink a bottle of wine a day...how about 2? It doesn't matter if it is ok or whatever...it wasn't good for me. I like how I feel right now. Another odd thing is that I rarely had a hangover
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