Notes NHS 2003

 Old notes 

August 7, 2003, Cannon is amazing. He s a walker, climber, busy active boy. Last night Tucker and I were talking while Cannon was in his highchair eating "O's." Tucker went over to feed him as he turned toward Cannon he gasped. "Look!" Cannon was standing on the tray of his chair, arms outstretched smiling. It was even cuter because he only had on his diaper. Tonight, Tucker was on the phone talking and walking around, so Cannon put a toy boat to his ear and began talking and walking. He also tries to stack his toys to make a ladder to climb out of his play pen. While playing he pushes the button on his music box so it will play and light up. When the music stops he walks over and turns it back on. He is becoming a person with a fun personality. I will hate to return to school in September, but I enjoyed the 3 months with him. What did CS Lewis say about joy? If you try to hold on to it, it will cease to be joyful. If you try to recreate it you will only find misfortune. That could explain why I felt so off this past year, I was trying to recreate a feeling...maybe that feeling of peace after waiting for Cannon to arrive. 

August 9, 2003

I have to laugh...I was just thinking about how fast time flies when I realized that CS Lewis descibes our inability to understand time as a reinformcement to the theory that we are made for everlasting life. In this world time prevails, everything is about time...weird. NHUSA begins in 24 hours. Following our week of camp we have one week free for vacation and then it is orientation and preseason. Jaurel and I have to talk about a schedule for pre-season. I am excited. It is going to be a top notch season. God truly is on my side. I look around and see comfot, love, and security. this is home...my home. As the days go by I fee myself abandoning discussions of people in favor of intellectual debates and conversations. It is going to be a great year. I look at our place and feel comfortable. I want to invite others into our home. 

August 10, 2003

Day one of Camp is over. It is not 9:30 pm and I am pooped. Cannon has a huge bump on his head from playing soccer. He fell while trying to do a new move which was stand on the ball. Camp is fun. I feel rusty in some regards but tomorrow will be better. Cannon did not sleep well last night up and down all night. Woke at 6:30

August 11, 2003 Why can't I keep my mouth shut? ugh! I was determined not to get bogged down in the petty stuff. Laurel is pretty good about stuff. My therapy is right here on this paper. Cannon is eating like a man. He ate mac n cheese, lasagna, mashed potatoes and more. I am getting some truly great soccer drills. The days are flying by. I think Friday night we will go to the Barnaby's for dinner and Sunday the Arsenault's are having a clam bake. I need to use the final 2 weeks to prep for classes and get into soccer shape. I need to hit the ball around and run. Just being on my feet for 3 sessions is killer. for our preseason I would like to do fitness testing and evaluations. 

August 12, 2003

I began reading an old journal. The first page was dated 1999 the next page was dated summer 2000. Of course, I realized a number of pages had been discarded. I freely censor my own work. Memories are what we make of them but if I keep tearing out pages there won't be much left...Initially I believed that first-hand accounts of historical events were distorted because they were charged with emotion. Now the complete opposite holds true because immediate responses are filled and fueled by emotion, they express the sign of the times more clearly than a rational mind that already knows the outcome. It becomes sterile. If we always know the outcome of each experience, we would not have made the same choice. If I knew I would find happiness in June 2001 why not just wait for that place and time? Wasn't there value in the journey? Didn't the journey lead me to the place in 2001? All those experiences along the way created the opportunity for happiness. 

August 14, 2003 I have found a new reading selection, Race Matters by Dr. West. It should prove to be a poignant book. Watching Dr. West speak to a black leadership conference wsa impressive. He was introduced as the Martin Luther King Jr. of the 21st century. He is a moralist but isn't that what is needed when a group has problems stemming from moral issues? I guess people think it is a cut down to be called a moralist. Everyone should be able to live by their own morals according to the immoral hedonist. How long will the separation of church and state hold true? The Democratic senate is holding up judicial nominations because they're "too religious." Your ideology must stem from something, and everyone has a religion be it Christian or atheist.  The idea that the human mind cannot know if there is a god is just a side show. Look around. Use science to disprove the existence of God who is the first mover of the universe. The argument then goes back to the question of who created this world and beyond? God always has been in existence. CS Lewis again, we cannot phantom time always existing. 

This camp has been great for refreshing my athletic training abilities. I feel better regarding my retention of diagnosis-HOPS. I remembered that yesterday. The only regret is that I am not able to watch the demo and drills. Hopefully Laurel is watching. Cannon gave us a big scare yesterday. He got stung (we think) or ate something like PB or eggs that gave him an allergic reaction. His face blew up. his eyes were swollen shut and a rash spread over his body and lumps were forming on his head. I was terribly scared. I rushed to the doctor's office, there was a long line of traffic, I flashed and honked for everyone to get out of my way. The police stopped me and looked in the back when I told them what was happening. They flagged me through. Cannon was still smiling and loved going fast. The Dr. gave him prednisone and Benadryl. It did not end there. I sat with Cannon and a camper at the hospital for 3 hours because the camper needed x-rays.  

August 24 Sunday

we spent the past 2 days in Portsmouth. We needed down on Friday helped move Nan's belongings to the Barnaby's. we had a really nice dinner with Rollie and Linda. It was swordfish. I feel that I am getting to know them more each visit. It was really nice to hang out. Linda told me all about the kids and their quirks but that's just "who they are."

Saturday morning, I went to the $5 stuff a bag sale at Children's Orchard. I had no idea what this was all about. Tucker and I parked in front, and we were the only car, it was dead. Then a lady pulled up and ran to the back. We sauntered behind the building which was hiding boxes of clothes and dozens of women. At 9:20 several more cars come screeching into the parking lot where women unloaded and ran to the back of the building. The volume of people was astonishing and we were in for a big surprise. Women were 3-4 deep along a starting line. When the lady said go, women broke into a sprint to find the size box they needed. Many were working in pairs and trios. These women were serious. No smiles, just stuffing bags. I overheard a woman directing people towards the various sizes.