Day 4
At 8 pm last night, I took the syner-sleep without the Yin reserve. I did not suffer any of the previous symptoms of allergic reaction. Headed up to bed at 8:30 to lay down and read. I did a little scrolling and read my Better.Health daily notes.
Slept continuously from 9:30-4:07 when I got up to use the bathroom then stayed up. 6.5 hours that is progress. I feel good.
Last night one of the reels suggested following the 30-30-30 rule to lose weight. 30g protein within 30 min of waking then 30 min of steady state activity. Here I am at 5:50 wondering if I should take Shadow for an early walk or just do TTAPP.
Breakfast-3 eggs, cheese, chicken sausage, coffee and coconut oil-probably 25g protein and 400 calories
Walked the dogs 2 miles, returned home to hot coffee and a piece of toast with jelly and CC.
Lunch-handful noodles, chicken strips (homemade), 1/2 choc coissant, 2 mini kit kat, chomps=30g protein and maybe 700 calories
home coffee and 1/2 choc coissant. Dinner was Salmon.
It is 2pm and I am exhausted. I should stick to water but I am drinking coffee. No desire for wine but I do catch myself thinking about a drink when I am tired that's weird. Oh today. I bought some supplements for Tucker including CBD, that could be why I am tired, of course I took one right away with no concern for whether I should or not. Oh well.
The Inner Work-
I was just thinking about why people say they are grateful for addiction and recovery. When you are getting sober, if you read quit lit or sober lit you will find a common theme. You were drinking to escape or numb something. It is time to find out what you are running from and face it with a clear head. This summer I told Tucker I was going to try drunk therapy. This is a process where I would get shitfaced and see what kind of trash came up. The common themes are anger, jealousy, victimhood, and regret. So this is what must be dealt with. When I am sober I do not cry and scream about my past or my pain. I push it down and let it fester until there is a point for release. I am working on facing the issues so they don't have to dwell in my soul and wait to escape. I am doing the work to break generational sins. My children will not have as much trauma as I endured. And here is the hard part or the easy part, I played a role in some of the trauma. Not as a child, but as I got older. Drinking and carrying on without friends with me, foolishly trusting situations etc.
In the lodge last week I was talking with another parent (need to get her name) about the high levels of stress in ski racing. Not only the racing but all the other things these kids have going on with final exams etc. She started talking about vibrations and how to be positive and just let it happen. Within a few days a tik tok reel came up suggesting the book The Inner Work. That is what I am reading now. I feel like this is how I lived in my 20s. I did not judge myself for things and I let the things go. For instance, I didn't get a job because I was a woman and the Athletic department was a good ole boys club? Your loss. I got raped. I did not blame myself but I saw that I was foolish. To know that I played a role in the situation was actually empowering. The Adrian situation? No that was completely wrong. There is no point feeling like a victim now for what happened then.
Lowering Homocysteine - learn how to prevent high homocysteine levels (foodforthebrain.org)
Ski Racing: Slumpbusting - Dr. Jim Taylor (drjimtaylor.com)
How Can I Help My Teen Manage Their Strong Emotions? | Psychology Today
Studies Show How Befriending Your Biggest Rival Will Elevate Your Performance | Inc.com
18 Powerful Ways to Effectively Lower Homocysteine — Optimal Living Dynamics
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