Monday morning

 The weekend-

Friday after picking Tucker up from FA and getting his stitches removed at the ER we came home. I got some cleaning done while he visited with Noah. Something he needed to do to unwind from the stress he placed on himself for final exams and grades. The kids planned to go to the basketball game so we got pizza early and I started my data points. 5pm steak and cheese calzone with Pinot Noir and watching The Gilded Age which I have to watch again because I kept getting interrupted. 

I took Isla home at 8pm and on the ride Campbell was talking about who was at the game. She said Sam had come with Lincoln Nyquist and another boy. We talked about his older brother who passed away in a swimming accident. On the ride home I got a bug in my bonnet about he classmates being humble about saying he is going to an expensive boarding school next year. I harped on the fact that he should tell everyone it costs more than their parents make in a year. She asked me why I get mad at other people's success. That is a good question. Am I jealous? Our kids have an opportunity to attend a great school with a good education in Maine. No, it is not exactly what we want but it is better than New Hampton or LinWood. The problem right now is Tucker's perspective not the school. This is something I have to work on letting go of. The issue is also I am jealous that our family is split and this is hard. 

Saturday-cleaning the house, putting up Christmas decorations, and walking the dogs. I had a glass of red with another steak and cheese. Dinner was burgers with the kids. They seem to enjoy all of us sitting around the table to eat. Tucker and I played Uno with Campbell and then we watched The Crown. I fell asleep early. 

Sunday-Campbell and Tucker both to the mountain to ski. Good to have Tucker back skiing. He had a good morning then at lunch had a fit when asked to put his cell phone away because he was in a cell free zone. A big issue I have is that he is not eating enough. He woke up and did not want to eat and he made it until noon with no food. The kids went to the hot tub, then dinner, and Campbell had 811 gift exchange. Dinner was steak and martinis then The Crown. 

Monday morning. Decent sleep up at 6am for Shadow. It is rainy and warm out. I have work today then off for 2 weeks. I have a ton of things I need to do before work. I need to do a letter of intent and print it, grocery shopping, and somehow get in Tucker's ear about expectations for the RPS. It is what it is. Yes, I used to hate that expression but I see value in it now. After a run is done there is nothing you can do so it is what it is. What can you learn? What went well? Get curious and be your own coach. Distance yourself from it, don't judge it, and just let it sit there. Tell another racer they did well. Ask a coach what you can change. 

Triggers-when everyone is home, I get a little anxious and fall into vacation mode thinking it is fine to have a few drinks. It is not that I need it to cope but maybe the habit of the environment. Well my 5 days last week went well and that is a good plan to stick to. One day at a time. I also know that if I am going to stay AF I need to work at it. Everyday I have to read something to remind myself of my goals.