Finding peace

Jesus is the Prince of Peace. He came to redeem this world. He suffered on a cross and died for our sins. After his death the disciples were sad, dejected even.

More and more I am finding the Protestant church lacking in its ability to fully embody the needs of humans. Living a liturgical life, a life of prayer, and a life of purpose were so integral in the medieval church. Then the reformation splintered the church. Yes, there were practices that needed to change. However the Puritans went so far as to remove the human aspect from the practices of the church. Virtue formation, catechism, praying without ceasing, etc.

Saint John Henry Newman, who described the holiness of daily life in these words: “The Christian has a deep, silent, hidden peace, which the world sees not… The Christian is cheerful, easy, kind, gentle, courteous, candid, unassuming; has no pretense… with so little that is unusual or striking in his bearing, that he may easily be taken at first sight for an ordinary man”. 

Time folds in 
Compounding years into seconds, 
Muddling, merging, melding, 
The past with the present.

I'm an adult holding my younger self
Telling her it would be ok
Then it is my daughter, my mother, my grandmother. 
Reaching out to get back what's been lost. 

Death makes the present feel surreal. I want to abandon all things and run back in time to try again yet I can't get it right in the here and now. James 4:17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doth it not, to him it is sin. 

My earliest memories of Bebe, Nevette, and Mickie revolve around books. They were always carrying something to read. This is also true of Grandma Cook. Is it in the feminine way or is it our thirst for peace, for answers? Is it simply my family that has a need for something more? Of course not. It is a human need. 

As I reflect on my years with Bebe and Bare, in the context of Nevette's JW conversion, I see that Bebe and Bare were bringing me up in a faith that would stick. The pain of Nevette's conversion never left Bebe. Nevette rebelled against her family, her God, and her mother. 

Rebellion is in the heart of man. Like Kacey, Nevette must have felt a sense of failure to her parents. I wonder if when she said, "Let the guilt begin," if she meant her guilt for turning her back on the faith of her family? Did she begin to question her belief in the JW stuff? She was so integrated into the JW community it would have been tough to leave. We do not really know the inner workings of anyone. There are Christians in the Middle East right now who outwardly present themselves as Muslims but they confesseth with their tongue their faith in Jesus. 

Dad also rebelled against his upbringing. His home, his faith, and his fanily  were discarded as he went searching for soeWas it 
 it simpoly that generation who rebelled against everything they knew?