Prime

 Negative emotional chain-We need to break the chain. Gosh I need to do this too. When I think of the issues our family is having I think that we all need to get into a routine: be with people, find a community, and just live our life. Talking with Scott's dad I realized that I can be friendly and nice to people who do not share my views. Actually are hostile and disparaging telling me I drink the Kool Aid but not directly me. I listened. If I had the chance I would tell him about Chris Pappas' nephew dying from adverse reactions to the vaxx. What say you then? 

My concern with taking a day off is that Tucker will just mope around all day. We have to have a plan. I think we will have breakfast then go to the Auger Screw Falls, and when Tucker gets here they can go to the Summit hotel and see if the boys are around and get dinner. He needs to sit in the hot tub and just have a good time with the kids. That is what he is missing...the fun. 

Problem: Emotions can be weapons or tools. 

 Weapons: negative, uncontrollable, overwhelming, hurt mind and body, interfere with performance, feel bad. 

Tools: positive, controlled, moderated, drive performance, feel good.

• Link #1: Frustration. o Definition: path to your goal is blocked. o Motivates you to clear path, but usually tries same thing more and harder.

• Link #2: Anger. o If you can’t clear the path to your goals, frustration becomes anger. o Motivates you, but creates tension and prevents clear thinking and focus. 

• Link #3: Despair. o You try and try and still can’t clear the path. o Feeling out of control, helpless, and hopeless. o Emotion: despair. o Reaction: you give up. o Problem: as soon as you give you, you lose. 

• Break the chain at frustration. o Step away from cause of frustration (get physical and emotional distance). o Breathe and relax body. o Get perspective: be patient. o Identify cause of frustration. o Look for solution. o If no immediate solution, change goal or stop for the day. 

To find success, failure must be accepted as possibilities. 

• Effects of fear on ski racing. o Mental: lowered motivation and confidence, distracted focus, cautious mindset.

 o Physical: tight muscles, short breathing, balance goes back, loss of coordination. 

o Performance: tentative, cautious, safe.

Emotional Mastery • Not the avoidance or suppression of emotions. • Being able to identify, understand, and express emotions in a healthy way. • Control, let go of, or redirect your emotions. • Become an emotional master. o Know your ‘hot buttons.’ o Create alternative reactions. o Choose to fight. • Goal of emotions. o Experience them fully and deeply. o Master your emotions. o Use emotions to ski your fastest.

I have this great information but Tucker won't listen. He needs to hear this. He is not the first or only one to have a slump. It is not too late to end the season on a high note. How can I get him to see that all is not lost? 

Why do I get up in the night to drink a few glasses of wine and eat? This is my interlude between my sleeps. Worry has me up all the time. Today I am worried about Tucker. Why am I an ass? What did I say to him that hurt his heart? 

Acknowledge his pain. It is ski racing and he wants to win. Of course, he is upset that he isn't skiing well. 

Don't compare him to others. It is exactly what he is doing with racing. He is comparing himself to everyone else. I should not say be like this one or that one. I try not to do that but I do say so and so also skied terrible or made mistakes. 

I am done, I am leaving, I am through with you...at times those words come out. Last night, when he would not respond or talk to me I said I was leaving. When the issues get heated I need to leave. I had the right idea saying I would leave and I should have gone for a drive so I would refrain from saying things I now regret. 

I am sorry Tucker. I did not honor you or how you were feeling when I spoke harshly to you last night. I just want you to let me in so I badgered you until you blew up. It is my fault and I was wrong. Next time I will let you have your space until you are ready to come and talk. Assuming you will come and talk to me, I will listen. I know too much about my kids. Like everything they do. Every wrong turn or mistake. I know. 

The post season championships were tough for Tucker. Even with the disappointing race results, Tucker still made it to Can Ams. That says something. He made it to the end. At Can Ams he had a solid GS performance. If not for his near wipe out at the end, he could have had a top 15 finish for sure. The first run of SL he went for it and fell, hiked, and finished. His second run was safe and slow. Tucker thinks Tucker may be growing. I don't know. He is back in school and happy. He just needs the whole thing. It is not good for him to overly focus on ski racing. He is a great athlete and his issue is between his ears. 

I don't get it. Why did he fail so miserably at Can Ams? 

His super G was just awful. He just did not ski. Then came GS and that was good especially knowing that he had a crazy ending. Where is that video? I would like to see what happened? After Tucker saw the video he felt better. The final day of SL Tucker went for it and fell then he just skied like shit. This is not the same kid that beat Asa and Caedon. I have to shut my outh. 

I am not going to get a job. I can't. but I am going crazy about these stupid results. What is the end game and who will get Tucker to the final point Then we have Cannon who feels like his needs wereb't met and he is probably right. He was just awa

I dont't like being fat. I don't like that my kid is failin I always see suicide as a knife in my chest. Can I leave now? I can't handle any more. If I overdoesI will never know. I will just be gone. I hate that Tucker can't eve n talk to me when I ask why did Tucker choke at Can Ams. He won't talk about it.